Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
