Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
