Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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