My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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