id be glad to
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
