DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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