I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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