Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
