i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
