You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
