It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
