I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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