My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
