from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
