Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My life is pants optional.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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