This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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