we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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