I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
