The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
