Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
