It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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