Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
