Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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