He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
