Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So squirting runs in the family.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
