but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
