i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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