upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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