Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
