Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
bring money and cleavage
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
