Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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