He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
