I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
