Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she smelled like a LAN party
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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