we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
