Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
