Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
