There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
