I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
