I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize