all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
