You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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