Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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