If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize