im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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