Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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