What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize