just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
