My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
