There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
