i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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