Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
