Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
