i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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