just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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