I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
