this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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