Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize