I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All the doctor said was why
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
