Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
