Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
