k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
