Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
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I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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