i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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