Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
