You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
there is glitter all over my balls
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